Diet Plans|Veganism|Goals| New Theme For A While?!

Hey guys, so I know it's been a while but I've finally moved and will be starting to upload new videos soon, but more importantly I'm currently working things out to go on a diet, which hopefully I can convert to Veganism within time. Set myself goals, and use this blog as my base for a while?

So you may be wondering what I mean by a while.. I want to get myself use to a diet then try to convert into Veganism and bring you all on my journey. I'm giving myself a year to convert and hit my first goals to get me going. Which means I would like to post for a year every so often, even if it's as little as once a month. I will of course try to add more than that and start writing pre-posts again. Once I've eased myself into it and found a better schedule maybe I will start posting a few beauty things a long the way, I know my youtube will be. I would also like to bring some of my life style changed into my youtube Channel so if anyone is interested in seeing that, keep your eyes peeled!

So this was a little update for yall and some things you may be seeing soon.. If you want to be part of it I am thinking on posting a chat box up on this blog so we can all speak about it and progress and ideas and give love and support!

See ya all soon, XOXO

2017... Back in time?| NO MORE SCHOOL?! EVER?!

Hey people!
Well I mean, if there is anyone reading there?
If so, I guess I owe you a little explanation on my recent or should I say very un recent lack of activity,
All I can really say is the truth, my new (second new infact) laptop has broken, and I've only just managed to get back into the whole use of computers and laptops. Cliche I know, but there's more.
This entire time I have not only been bettering myself but working on a load of things to upgrade my confidence. Get experience, meet new people and decide my path of education as I am now 16 guys and honestly I must say I am still slightly unsure but if I need to go back and do things or change my mind I will because I rather do that than stress too much over it.
I also left school/a course with a load of good people and I thank them greatly for their coping mechanisms with me because my God I was defiantly not the easiest or appropriate student. It made it so easier going there and seeing the workers and teachers there as friends and positives outlets on life. I am forever grateful for everything they done for me and for putting up with me when my school decided not too. Just being there when everyone else wasn't, got me through some toughest of days without them ever realising it. Thank you if you ever see this, I wish you the best future. Good luck with your careers all, and Baldy, keep up the maths! Thanks for looking out for us all. And other baldy with glasses :)
As for the Kelly Holmes Trust Project that I went on for a short period of five weeks, I owe you everything. Okay so that sounds SOOO dramatic! But you would never understand if you didn't try it out.. They aren't like every other basic ass course. They do so much and the people I met there have seriously impacted my life in ways you could never imagine. I will always be there for you guys because you got me through the darkest of days and you're still here after everything! I felt a connection with you all and it was seriously a pleasure to work and complete challenges with you, I would of never pushed myself to do even half the things you guys helped me through and now I can say I've done it and YES of course I would do it again! Also if any of you do see this for whatever reason, I'm planning on making a post dedicated to everything to do with the course and you guys as individuals and as a group so maybe check back soon? :)

AND.... (the heck there's more??)
Of course I'm going to be posting again. But I'm due to move and start my next path of education pretty much in June. I am still going to try my best to post but with a twist, I'm going to be posting updates of my educational paths and helping those younger than myself understand the importance of picking a path and how to find it, even if I got to find support forums or even, make one myself. That's right! Make one myself, on this blog so you guys can interact with eachother! Crazy right?

OHH ANDDDDD..
I've looked back and realised I've pretty much lost the theme of this blog but I do like the variety because it means I can change to anything I'm into at the moment keeping me in line to write and hopefully for you guys to read. But on that note, a big part of my life STILL is beauty, and my makeup collection well its got a little cram packed with drugstore products. So with that I'd love to tell you every week I post atleast one of the posts will be beauty based keeping theme!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, and excitingly...
You see that description about the blog at the top? Well it's said Youtube coming soon for a while now and I've kind of got a channel... with videos, that i post every week or two. Including hauls, collections, and more! If you guys want to see that then pretty soon when I start getting views again and I re-arrange the blogs appearance to something a little more modern, I will pop the link up there for you guys to check out and subscribe if you would like!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STILL BEING HERE GUYS, I LOVE YOU ALL

Busy Busy Busy

Hey guys so I remembered a while ago me and my friend made a blog about an online game known as stardoll, it really needs updating and stuff and it was such a popular blog with over a hundred posts! We made videos for it and all sorts, we really customized it well and it was great! One problem.. I can't remember the password or email and we haven't posted since 2014! It could really do with a lot of updates but since we can't get in there yet its just a long proccess that we're working really hard to achieve.
Other than that I've joined Cadets, and have had a few exams that I think I've failed and my asthmas all over the place I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm way too busy to be posting right now. But as soon as I'm at a place where I will be able to consistantly post I will get straight onto it!
I hope you're all doing well and I hope to speak to you all soon, see you guys as soon as I can!:)
- Tara

Looking for A Job& New Youtube Videos| Back to YouNow?

Hello everyone,
so I haven't posted in quite a while but here is why.
I am currently looking for a job in order to save up for future things and to be able to go out, experience more things and to have a little more of a 'purpose' I guess you could say.
I have new videos up on my channel, they are not edited to the best of my abilities if at all, but that is because I've purchased the camcorders but am yet to become familiar with them enough to use them for better quality e.t.c.
Anyway, I have decided that over the next couple of weeks, as I am hoping to get a job based at home in my office, it would be appropriate of me to begin doing live videos on younow again! I enjoyed speaking with everyone and building a bigger audience. I met new youtubers, bloggers and even made a pen pal!
When I next decide to go live, I will make a post letting you all know what day and time so we can all speak and you can tell me what you want to see from this blog, as we all know I tend to change the theme a lot.
Also I am planning on cutting the posts down to once or twice a week, which would make it easier to keep on schedule, but don't worry! You wouldn't be missing out as I would happily put in a lot more information and photos for you all.
Have a good day everyone,
- Tara

Experiences| Confidence Building (Sunday)

Hello fellow bloggers!
Just something real quick before we start,
I haven't yet decided what I'll be changing things around too on the blog eg, themes and days.
Until I do, I'll be following what's currently posted, hence Build your Confidence Monday!
Anyway, I decided because I haven't actually wrote any experiences, even though I say I will in the title, I would do an experience with a lack of confidence I've had and hopefully you'll be able to relate! If not, that's okay because you may be able to relate to one of the other posts or one I post in future. Everybody is different hey?
Today I'm going to write about one that I think we probably all had a few confidence issues with, but here is my point of view.

'The Last Day of Primary School

and

First Day of Secondary School'

I will not lie to you. Lets go back a couple months. I had always been happy in primary school. It was kind of four of us in the entire class who were, well, 'more advanced' than the rest and we always sat together and done work together and help the teachers out. We was all excited to go to secondary school together, we didn't want to leave eachothers side! So, about a month before we left primary, everything changed. There was new girls, and there were arguments. I kind of got left. The only thing that didn't change was the other two boys that sat on the table with us. It left me with no friends, except the boys in class of course. But slowly we became distant. The girls wouldn't lay off. Then the rest was quite a blur but one of the girls were picking on my baby brother and he was/is my everything. I stormed out of the big kids play yard to the little kids yard, I pushed her over and grabbed my little brother and walked around the school where we werent allowed. I ignored all the teachers shouting and running after us. I picked him up and walked home. Quite frankly this was the point when everything changed. I realised I had the power to do whatever I wanted, and that I wasn't going to take shit of anyone. When I was to be picked up the next day, a bunch of angry parents were in the office including my mam. I wondered why and then they all told me how 'Tara-lee is a fat slut' was wrote on the school gates. Nobody ever admitted to that. Sir tried to protect them. He was denying that they were bullying me to my mother, 'as Taras never mentioned it' but lets face it. I was a scared little kid and every time you tried to tell a teacher something you'd always get 'Stop telling tales go play' so all you really could do is go home and tell your mam or dad or nan. It wasn't until the day before the last that Sir realised I was being bullied. I'm not sure how but he did and he made a big speach infront of the class saying the ones who were doing it were not welcome back into the school, ever. Then clearly the guilty ones broke down in tears and stuff. I spent the last day with the boys and we were allowed to help sir which sounds kinda lame but in primary that was like a privilege. 

The next bit is personal to me, but I'm going to try and be open and share this with you guys so that you may be able to relate/understand more. I felt in year six as if I was more mature than anyone else. I had my first set of suicidal thoughts. I kept having negative thoughts. I had tantrums, I was already on the laptop speaking to people. I had a strong passion for 'reading and correct grammar' so it came as a shock to others, but not me when I self harmed for the first time. I'm not sure what possessed me to do it. But regaurdless I did it. Little did I know that, that one mistake, that one low moment would lead too the next four years of misery, still ongoing. 

The holiday I spent on my laptop. Listening to Mayday Parade like I still do today. With the whole money making schemes and youtubers.

It was the big day. The first day of secondary school. But it was different for me as I got put into a secondary school away from the kids that bullied me in primary. So I started somewhere with no friends. Nobody I knew there except my cousins. One had already been there for a year and had all her friends and life sorted, the other was started the same time as me but he had friends from primary and he was good looking, which put him to the top straight away. I on the other hand, was very very overweight, unattractive and a little bit, well depressed. My cousin was really nice to me and brought me to a big group of girls that tried to speak to me but I could feel that they knew I was a bit, off. I walked away and stood on my own holding back the tears as I was the only child stood alone, also I was scared of people looking at me and my repulsive body. I was ashamed. I now regret ever walking away from them girls. They were the pretty, most popular girls of my year. They got a really strong bond and to think I could of been part of that sucks. 
I guess though, now it's been four years that things have changed I never would of thought back then that I'd be the person I am now with the friends and experiences I've had till this very day.
Don't dwell on the past or present, think about how great things can go in the future because that's the only thing in the long run that's going to keep you motivated and going!

Goals&Echievments | Tuesday | no.2

Hello everyone,
last week I put up some goals I would like to achieve! If there is a big cross through them, I achieved them and if not, I didn't and therefore will be trying to achieve them this week.

First of all was too;
Make a good start on my room
Secondly was too;
Gain one piece of make-up
Last of all was too;
Drink more water

I am happy to say that I achieved my goals by simply reminding myself of what I had too do, when you give yourself a small amount of little goals it is hard to believe how much you actually adapt to them and don't struggle. In the long run these could be really useful things to maintain.

This week, I'm going to set myself three new goals;

1. Clean my room
2. Focus on my drawings
3. Eat some more fruit

Let me know what your goals are this week, my twitter and younow is in the bio, or you can comment. Also let me know what you achieved last week! I'd love to hear about it.
I'll let you all know next week on what I achieved and my new goals.
Thanks for reading all,
-Taraaa:)

Society Views | Friday | Police Officers

Hello everyone,
Today I'll be writing about Police Officers.
Before I get started I would just like to say this is my preferences on the system! If you have a completely different opinion, or a minor different opinion, that is great and I would love to hear it from your perspective, this can be up for DEBATE but I do not intend to be criticize for my opinion as everyone has had their own experiences, own thoughts and own interpretations on why they think certain things about certain matters.

The big bag wolf&the three pigs

Assuming we're all familiar with the story of the big bag wolf and the three little pigs, I feel as if this is relative to the youth around my area today. In other countries, based upon what I read officers walk around with their guns, and tazors and things of that sort. I have seen people in this country with guns, not yet to see one with a tazor. Regardless, this gives me the impression they are able to sort things out straight away, correct me if I am wrong as I am unaware of how things work over there but once again this my opinion. In this country, because of how little the 'pigs' try to work. It takes like three officers on one TEENAGER! Yes, I mean friends of mine are a little excuse my language, fucking mental but that is not my point. The officers simply do not try, they say a few words and if you refuse to go along with what they say, which most do because they make absolutely no fucking sense or drag things out or do not get your side or understand the full story simply because they can not be fucking bothered to listen, they call some more police or just send a warrant out for your arrest if you fail to attend court. Obviously when your support workers are telling you there is a high chance you're going to be sent down for the next eight months you are going to not show up. They spend more time throwing out lousy fines for the most stupid of things, eg. I know somebody (not putting names up for privacy reasons) who dropped a ten pound note and got fined for LITTERING. Excuse me? Is that just plain ignorance? And another thing that happened to a person I know, they got fined for a small strand of cotton falling from the back of their jumper. For a start, how are they even meant to know it fell if its so small, and from behind them. Also the ONLY reason the officers knew was because they were walking behind her. Any further and they wouldn't of even noticed, and how were they meant to know it fell of the back of her jumper unless they were staring if you get what I'm saying? It is beyond me. 

The WORST thing I've seen is a copper grab my friends hair, pull her down to the ground gripping her till she shouted out in pain, shouting in her face 'FUCK UP, YOU DON'T SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!!!' and then the other coppers came around the corner and she was running with us, he puller her up shouting 'get up get up now' as if she had THREW HERSELF to the floor. When me and some of the other people there tried to explain to the other cops what had happened, the copper tried to say she had insulted him for him to do these things... as we said they were un-true they kind of ignored us basically saying to one of the boys telling them that it was lies and that an officer wouldn't of reacted that way for no reason. I am sorry but when you signed up for the job, you didn't sign up to attack a teenager like that WITH OR WITHOUT reason. May I just say she was caught in an area she shouldn't of been because of her asbo? Yet it was a necessary route to get to college which was her ONLY form of education, that they are meant to support. 

I'm sure there are good things that coppers do in the UK, of course their must be. But in my path I am yet to find a decent copper or any that has done any good close to home. If and when my experience changes, I will write another post of the positive side. Till then I will not lie and say a bunch of shit that makes them sound great when I've never seen them in that light.

NOTICE

If the language in this offends you my apologies, just so you are all aware the language in these Friday posts may not be the most appropriate, but it is my way of getting across my passion and emotion on the subject. Also all the text written is true but I have not included names or anything for the security of the officers and 'so called criminals' mentioned. I also understand they do a lot of good and without them there would be no order. They just need to be properly evaluated or honest to their job before each individual one gets my personal approval which does not matter to probably everyone but still.  

Thank you everyone for reading:)